Collection of Irish Song Lyrics

Charlie and the T.S.A.

Irish Song Lyrics - Charlie and the T.S.A.Author: Brian Hyland and Donal O

Let me tell you the story
‘bout a man named Charlie,
Who’s departing from JFK,
Packed up all his belongings in his carry-on luggage,
All he wanted was to fly away.

CHORUS But will he ever depart?
No! He’ll never depart!
And he’ll never get onto that plane,
Because a nose-hair clipper is a lethal weapon,
He’s detained by the TSA

Charlie’s loose shampoo and his roll-on deod’rant
Were a sight for the agent to see!
He even found some toothpaste and disposable razors,
Says the agent, “Now you’re coming with me!”

Charlie handed in his baggage for a gloved inspection
‘cuz his hygeine shouldn’t be a crime,
All the agents gathered round him
like flies at a picnic Saying
“This is gonna take some time!”

Now Homeland Security went to Def Con 7
When they found his non-prescription drugs,
But they waved through Akhmed
with his beard and turban
‘cuz they wouldn’t want to profile thugs!

Poor Charlie was labled as a troublemaker
For leaving on his sneakers and belt,
So they stripped him and they searched him
and they frisked him and they dissed him,
But they didn’t leave a blemish or welt.

Now about this time, Charlie’s flight was arriving
At the place where he needed to be,
While back in New York, Charlie’s naked and shakin’
Saying, “Why did they do this to me?”

Now Akhmed got out of the 747,
And he went off to work next day,
Newspapers on the racks of his 7-11,
Featured Charlie and the TSA!

Back to Song List