Collection of Irish Song Lyrics
Charlie and the T.S.A.
Author: Brian Hyland and Donal OLet me tell you the story
bout a man named Charlie,
Whos departing from JFK,
Packed up all his belongings in his carry-on luggage,
All he wanted was to fly away.
CHORUS But will he ever depart?
No! Hell never depart!
And hell never get onto that plane,
Because a nose-hair clipper is a lethal weapon,
Hes detained by the TSA
Charlies loose shampoo and his roll-on deodrant
Were a sight for the agent to see!
He even found some toothpaste and disposable razors,
Says the agent, Now youre coming with me!
Charlie handed in his baggage for a gloved inspection
cuz his hygeine shouldnt be a crime,
All the agents gathered round him
like flies at a picnic Saying
This is gonna take some time!
Now Homeland Security went to Def Con 7
When they found his non-prescription drugs,
But they waved through Akhmed
with his beard and turban
cuz they wouldnt want to profile thugs!
Poor Charlie was labled as a troublemaker
For leaving on his sneakers and belt,
So they stripped him and they searched him
and they frisked him and they dissed him,
But they didnt leave a blemish or welt.
Now about this time, Charlies flight was arriving
At the place where he needed to be,
While back in New York, Charlies naked and shakin
Saying, Why did they do this to me?
Now Akhmed got out of the 747,
And he went off to work next day,
Newspapers on the racks of his 7-11,
Featured Charlie and the TSA!
